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Episode two of the SuckCast, a podcast about stuff that sucks.

The newspapers seem to be focusing on a very unusual thing lately, the possibly wrongful firing of eight US Attorneys. Not exactly the usual hot topic, not the conveniently packaged story usually prepared for all the "news consumers" out there.

 

And you know what? I am really tired of this story.

I'm tired of it because I've been watching in horror as everyone talks about what's wrong with Alberto Gonzales, what he did or didn't know, what he did or didn't do wrong. This completely misses what's really important here. We are all definitely talking about the wrong thing.

Alberto Gonzales, AG the A.G., has hair that is so bad it's a national embarrassment. It just kind of sticks up in a disconcerting clump, like a nutria hanging on for dear life. Every time I see the guy on TV, I can't hear a single word he's saying, my eyes and my mind fixed as they are on his national failure of a haircut.

 

In case you don't know, open source software (OSS) is software made by rogue bands of anarchistic nerds, who believe that the best software in the world is that made in a disorganized fashion by hundreds of anarchistic nerds, organized in rogue bands. OSS is generally free to use, and usually no one involved gets paid. There are three known motivations for creating this type of software:

   1. Bragging Rights ("I am so ELITE that I helped to create Project X!")
   2. Bashing Microsoft ("D00d, M$ totally sucks because their software costs money and can easily be used by anyone, even if they don't have a degree in Computer Science!")
   3. To have something to put on a resume so the nerd can get a job writing proprietary software, usually at Microsoft. ("I learned many core skills while working on Project X that would be valuable assets if I were given the opportunity to work here at Microsoft.")

Proprietary software, the most well-known software today, is made by teams of maybe a few dozen well-organized and highly paid nerds. This software generally costs money to use, and it has a tendency to just work without too many major headaches or a need for a CS degree.

 

 

CNN and its ilk have a hard job. Every day, find 24 hours worth of news. Useful crap that we need to know. 24 goddamn hours a day of news.

It's a noble pursuit, if you think about it. Or if you don't. But man! Are they off the mark! I'd put them at somewhere under an hour of useful news a day.

Right now, CNN and every other news media entity in this country care about just two things: the aftermath of Anna Nicole Smith's death and the incredible revelation that Britney Spears is kind of crazy and likes to party naked.